​For a matter of time savings, I will get to the point without beating around the bed.  “Do you iron your bed sheets?”  Yes, you have read this correctly.  Your bed linens! do you iron them before putting them on your bed?  I laughed when I heard someone said they always do.  In fact, I knew I heard her wrong and I insisted she repeat herself.  When she said that she most certainly ironed her sheets before placing them on the bed, I asked another woman in the room, “do you also iron your sheets?”  She said, “I couldn’t sleep without my sheets being ironed” my mouth dropped open.  Again, in total disbelief, I asked all the women in the room, “you too?”  and they smiled and said, “of course we iron our sheets and that I shouldn’t knock it until I tried it”.

And so, my challenge alive and well – ironing my sheets.  I am passing this challenge onto you as well.  I went home, stripped my bed, washed my sheets, let them ½ dry and then, I ironed my sheets before putting them back onto the bed.  I was so excited to melt into the bed, knowing that I found the magic that so many of us had not known about.  I could not wait to hear David, his cries of pleasure about how comfortable the sheets/bed was. I could not wait to be pleasantly put in my place knowing the Brits had this secret that I was now privy to!  Unfortunately, that is not how the story unfolded.  My completely scientific data point of ONE…  my conclusion was that there is no difference.  The important part of bed linens is the high-quality thread count and being 100% cotton. 
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So, you have heard it from me.  When you come to visit, you will be treated as a highly sought-after guest, but you will not receive ironed sheets.  This is merely to lower any standards you may have before coming. Please know, we do want you to come, but I will be spending any free time researching what fun we can have and not spending it as a Martha Steward impersonator.

Driving on the left side of the road can’t be THAT hard.  As long as the wheel is on the inside of the road, it should feel the same, right?  

Having a USA driver’s license gives us one year of renting cars without needing a UK driver’s license.  That should give us plenty of time to rent cars and get use to it all, or so we thought, before needing to take the UK drivers test.  Then COVID happens and our countdown is now shortened to 6 months of learning.

That is OK, we’re not negative nellies!  We got this!  No time like the present.  One of our first vacations (an overnight)  Cley next the sea (highly recommend), we decided to rent a car.  We are not overachievers, we are realists.  We rented an automatic economy car to get use to the left side before having to add driving with a stick shift on the left side (that will take some getting used to).

We also pat ourselves on the back because we thought about driving out of the city and how stressful that might be for the first time, so we rented from a remote airport on our way north.  So clever, we thought of everything!  However, there are adages for a reason. Best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.  Bigger isn’t always better. Never underestimate the power of bad ideas. .  A day late and dollar short… Unfortunately, these all prove to be accurate.

We arrive at the car rental and they are full of things we didn’t really think too much about.  Here in the UK unlimited mileage isn’t as common as it is when renting in the US.  “Ok, add unlimited mileage”.  Since we don’t own a car, we don’t carry auto insurance.  “Ok, add accident insurance”.  They have a thing here where they give you an empty gas tank, so you need to gage your driving to maximize returning it as empty as you can.  This sounds brilliant.  But really it’s only a win for the car rental.  Then the kicker comes.  “We are going to upgrade your vehicle, free of charge, to a – literally- brand new , not a scratch on the car, automatic SUV”.  This sounds too good to be true.  We are so comfortable driving large cars.  Great.  On our way we go.
Today’s world of GPS’ and Google maps, we are set for our adventure.

It is true these roads are narrow,  I mean really cramped,  no, I mean restricted.  Wait, we are in a ginormous 7 seater SUV trying to navigate these poky streets with inadequate experience driving on the left side of the road.  What the hell?!*#?!  We did this to ourselves. David is driving (doing a mighty fine job) and I am in the passenger side hearing the shrubbery scrape along the side of the, what was once an unmarked car.  I turn up the radio to block out the scratching sounds and stop my wrinkled-up face that could be interpreted but not intended as critical.

In the UK your side mirrors fold in.  WHY?  because, often, when you pass a car if you both don't fold in your mirrors, both of you will regret it.  ALSO, it helps when you are fighting with the shrubbery on the side of the road.  I'm 100% guaranteed, in the states, i've never used this feature?  do we even have it?  Here it's just a button you push (fold in/ fold out) 

We pretty much survived the weekend, and, on our way home, decide to stop in scenic Cambridge for dinner.  We’ve mastered the map and drive into town only to realize we must actually park and get out of this behemoth vehicle.  The unpleasantness that passed between David and me make it apparent that we are not having an enjoyable dinner until this car is no longer our responsibility.  We immediately left Cambridge and drove back to return the rental hell, I mean car.

Enlightenment that I am issuing to you gratis. You can thank me later.  Outside of the USA, when a rental car company up-sells you on a car and is overly eager for you to accept, ask yourself, how does this benefit you?  The answer is sure to be, it does not.  When you think you want an automatic rental car to make things easier as you learn to drive in another country, ask yourself, what am I giving up by asking for this? The answer is the ability to rent a miniature car, which is what you want, trust me on this.  Rent the manual.  When you think returning the car empty is easier, meaning you do not have to worry about finding a gas station when you are trying to drop off the car! The answer is, this might be a time saver, but it is a hole in your wallet spewing money.  Remember that SUV?  It takes a lot of gas!  Remember learning about driving in a different country? Gas stations are not on every corner, you don’t want to be stuck, so you fill up the tank when you can.  This means you are returning it with money in the tank, that money WAS your money.  Remember needing insurance to rent a car?  Unlike, the USA, here they inspect that car thoroughly upon your return.  Fortunately for us, I think our attendant was not wearing his glasses.  Let me conclude, driving on the left side of the road, in the UK, on narrow roads is not for the faint-hearted.

​I have no intention on taking any responsibility as to why I was such a wanker.  I am blaming it entirely on my children (that are not here to defend themselves).  You see, they sent me a very cool puzzle.  Part of this puzzle includes a difficult water section that has slowed my progress to a crawl.  So obviously I was working on the puzzle, when I looked down and saw that I was going to be late volunteering, I immediately popped up and ran out of the house.  It was too far to run there, but I could jump on a rental city bike and pedal my heart out.  Cack!  I was such a blimey twat forgetting the whole directional thing here!!
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All’s well that ends well.  I am now a local and I was not late! Puzzle is still not completed.

Like you, I am my own judge, jury and executioner.  Nobody is a worse critic than you.  Everyone has the list of things we tell ourselves we’d do if only we had more time, but we’re either not honest with ourselves or we’ve beaten ourselves down so much we don’t know how or believe we can begin.
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What motivates us?  “They” say a self-desire to look out for new things, face challenges and analyze one’s own capability and desire to gain knowledge.  

Then today I walked by Queen Victoria’s statue in front of Kensington Palace being reminded that she resented her youth because she was never able to run free, or merely walk down a staircase without being coddled.  Her position prohibited her from so many simple joys in her life.  I am no queen and, yet, I mine as well be.  I recognize I'm not living my privileged life. There are so many things I want to do, places I want to go, people I want to share it with and what is stopping me?  As we are all learning, there are many things out of our control, but some things are in our control.  For me, to do and go, I need to be active and healthy enough.  So today, I’m going to start my groundhog’s day tutorial until I have it right.

​On my walk this morning, I loved seeing people alone, in pairs and in forbidden multiples enjoying the park. (Our relocation has come with many challenges, but fortunately, the beauty of where we live is a huge boon!) Activity means something different for everyone.  Some run, stroll, jump rope, bike, hike, lift weights, climb, swim, even dance.  The goal of walking to the mailbox or running an ultra-marathon is equally lofty depending on the situation. We need to stop comparing ourselves and start bolstering one another to live the life we have. The ability involved, the length, and its intensity is different for each of us. 

I am not going to tell you what “my goal or my plan” is, because it’s not about the THING as much as it is about the discipline and permission you give yourself to do “IT”. Do it slowly, do it without judgement,  just do it.  Maybe, just maybe, that is when our quarantine will be lifted and we will be a population who is a bit more self-reflective and kinder to one another? Stay tuned for Part 2 – It won’t be until after quarantine and we all have a new normal.

Maybe it was coincidence but as I was processing these thoughts my Spotify played False Confidence.  Check out the song and the amazing choreography in the video....
False Confidence by Noah Kahan 

And I wonder why I tear myself down
To be built back up again
Oh I hope somehow, I'll wake up young again
All that's left of myself
Holes in my false confidence
And now I lay myself down
And hope I wake up young again
Hope I wake up young again
Don't let those demons in again (mhm hmm)
I fill the void up with polished doubt, fake sentiment
Surrender yourself
 

We had it all planned out.  I would dye just the tips of David’s grey hair red.  Then in 4-6 weeks when he goes to get a proper haircut, any remnants of this brilliant idea would be cut off.  Then he would do the same to me. All hair in love and war, it’s all hair and square. 
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Until it goes wrong.  This story does not have a hairytale ending.  

I’m desperate, I video chat with our kids so they can help me with the hair necessities.  They were laughing so hard they were ZERO help.  Clearly, David needed a shoulder to dye on.  This took way too much time because once we decided that he needed to wash out this bad idea, it was too late.  His hairs were thirsty for color.  We must have been caught in a conundrum – In England, RED must really be Metallic Orange because there is no question, Bozo the clown was not pictured on the box.

It’s no big deal.  We’ll just cut it off! Ummmmm but with what?  I have no scissors, heck, we don’t even have a proper bed to sleep in.  My hands are dyed, I must order scissors from online.  The kicker, they don’t arrive for 4 days.  Four long days, Four working days that he must endure video chats.  Four days in which I hope he doesn’t hair a grudge.  I couldn’t make heads or cattails of it.
 
My parting words:  Don’t dye this at home! But really, dye not?  If we’ve learned anything, life is too short not to have some fun!  Anytime, Anyplace, Any hair!

Shout out to David!  “Just one look at you and I know it’s going to be a Lovely Day!”   How could I not love this adventure?

There are two types of contagions, but only one we seem to be focused on right now: a disease spread by close contact.  I’m not going to write about that.  We’re living it, no need to read about it too.

I ask you to consider the other.  The one we have a more profound ability to control: The spread of a behavior pattern, attitude, or emotion from person to person or group to group through suggestion, propaganda, rumor, or imitation.  A harmful, corrupting influence.
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We’ve all been keeping our social distance and I am no different.  I am in the middle of a move where our new flat is 6 miles from our temporary one and we often need to go between.  (If you don’t know, all of our furniture, kitchen supplies, general possessions are in transit from the US to the UK and we do not know when we’ll actually get them so we can move in)  I have been needing to go to the new flat because I accept delivery of sorts.  I try to walk or bike one way and take the tube the other.  Usually I take the Tube late AM when often I am the sole rider.  But last night I needed to take it home in the early evening.  I’ve gotten in the habit of keeping power bars with me because it’s often long hours between meals and I’m stuck in a flat with no way to prepare or buy food. 

So, I’m on a more crowded tube car then I’ve been accustom lately.  There are only 8 of us in the entire car, all positioned with the correct distance so we wouldn’t breathe on one another let alone share a smile.  Eyes down and keeping our hands in our pockets seems the best way to guarantee we don’t touch a handrail or pole someone else may have contaminated.   Then the doors open, people look up then quickly down, and everyone noticeably shifts uncomfortably in their space.  This man’s face was weathered and his exhaustion could be felt as he entered and sat minding his own business.  It was clear he was aware of everyone's disgust and judgement. He was directly on the opposite end of the car from where I was leaning.  Everyone now has their eyes down, but I can’t keep my eyes off him!  His holey shoes, ratty clothing and filthy hands were unquestioningly heart wrenching.   He catches my eyes burning a hole in his psyche, and I immediately fidget.  I feel the protein bar in my hand.  I pull it out and gesture to him that he’s welcome to it.  All without saying a word we moved towards one another shrinking our required 2 meter distancing.  We meet in the middle of the car and I hand over the bar.  Simultaneously, everyone starts to move.  Some are digging in pockets of their too tight of pants trying to retrieve a coin, others searching in their purses or their pockets for that something.  They all, there wasn’t a person that didn’t, find something to give that man: money, food and genuine compassion.   It was all done in silence and it sent chills down my spine.  It was the most shockingly beautiful scene I could have witnessed. He was overwhelmingly moved, but not more than I was.  

Kindness is contagious!  Along with many other nasty things!  I WILL hold-on to what is admirable in this world.  

I am no different and yet very different than David.  How American’s entertain themselves.  It upsets me that he can’t watch TV or Theatre with content involving social awkwardness, or infidelity.  That wipes out a good 50% of the shows.  Then again, I have a hard time watching, without pitifully wet,  swollen eyes, stories about loss and hardships.   My brain can’t turn off the story and how hard life is for people that I automatically extend it to outside of the story and then I’m a mess ...  Hardships include even the war movies that David loves to watch.  So basically, that leaves about 20%, of what is out there, to view as entertainment.  Oh wait, now let’s get picky - and of that 20%, the story needs to be clever, and a story told in a new way, oh and it can’t be too violent or be too predictable – yup, now we’ve wiped out another 12%.  Leaving us 8%,  of the total shows out there,  suitable for David and me to watch.  I think we’ve watched a good number of them and we are frustrated trying to find more.  Please help and send ideas.
Now we’re reading.  David rereads what he’s read before.  He knows he liked it, why try a new book?  I try reading something that’s heartfelt and start crying and have to stop because of the blurr of the pages.
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That leads me to tell you about our new toy.  We knew it was just a matter of time before all the coffee shops would close.  That day was Friday.  We had the premonition on Thursday and bought a full on espresso machine.  David is interested in learning to make latte art, while I just wanted to easily pull a good cuppa espresso.  Not so fast.  I’ve read the manual.  I’ve watched many a talented barista.  I’ve been glued to the many YouTube video’s out there, and still my espresso shot is a tad bitter. Adjust the grind, do it again.  Now it’s a too sour.  Adjust the grind.  I fill the basket more.  Again it’s not right.  Again, this validates the differences between David and me.  David is so excited by this toy that we now seem to have endless mornings by which to practice.  I, on the other hand, just want a tasty cup of coffee to start my day.  I foresee, we will get to be quite good at making espresso drinks.  There is nothing else to do.  Well, David will get really good and I’ll benefit from his ability to persevere through the banality of pulling a shot of espresso.

A thought to leave you with.   You know when you see a characteristic in someone, for example, being beyond frugal: getting a spatula and wiping out the mayo jar etc.…. you justify it by saying they survived the depression era.  Or when someone is a naive slacker who lacks ambition and might have disregard for promptness is wrongly generalized as a “Millennial”. Well, I’m here to introduce you to our newest generation = Generation T.P. “Transitory Pestilence”  TODAY, all of us, WE THE PEOPLE, who have felt trapped inside, socially isolated – I mean socially distancing ourselves for the greater good, we will adopt new behaviors.  What will all of us end up learning?  Will we pick up hobbies we can do independently?  Will we learn how to volunteer using our skills on-line?  Will we build storage closets filled with Toilet Paper that the next generation will never understand?  Or when this is all over, will we seek to have richer, deeper, more meaningful relationships?  Will we see that we are more the same then we are different? This is how these odd behaviors and therefore stereotypes develop.  A group of people experience something so unusual, so profound, often so uprooting, that one’s behaviors are forever changed.  What I find most interesting, is that we are experiencing this together as a global community.  It has no connection with cultural differences: color of skin, languages spoken, religion, economic or educational advantages, etc.  I know some are trying to twist it into an Us vs. Them type thing, but this is an universal experience and we should be feeling solidarity not segregation.  What will we each choose to do with our time in confinement?  How can we become part of the solution instead of part of the problem?  With billions of people, we need the diversity of thoughts and ideas to make a movement happen, and regardless what we do, the momentum is there.  I’m trying to find a way to sand down my rough edges so I can roll with the flow.  Maybe I should buy more TP?  or learn to pull a drinkable espresso?  Until then, I think I’ll sign up as a local Red Cross Reserve Volunteer.  I’ve always had the desire to appreciate the people in my life, now I think I’ve learned to appreciate all people. Let’s unite and make our world a better place!  Oh, and a huge shout out to those involved with the medical world.  Those on the front line as well as those in the supply chains.  Thank you, we do appreciate you.
Really looking forward to being able to eventually travel and write about that!! Until then, be safe!

Would you read my blog if YOU had to pay to receive it? NO!!  Don’t worry, I take no offense, I wouldn’t pay to read either!  Before 1840’s if someone sent you a letter, the recipient had to PAY to accept it, and the cost was determined by the distance it came and the number of pages (that’s why the style Cross-Wrote came about - bad handwriting takes on a whole new meaning!).  Rowland Hill had the brilliant idea to reform the postal service. If they could guarantee a uniform payment collected at the origin then the process of sending and receiving letters would became something many more people could do, and did.  We’ve all heard of the name Penny Post, and now we know where and why it came to be.  Within a certain area it cost 1 Penny to post a letter and the stamp was evidence that it had been paid.  Stamps were an engraved picture of the head of Queen Victoria because it was the hardest thing to forge.

Since then, the cost of postage has been creeping up and up. Increasing our frustration in figuring out, in today's world of internet, if it's even feasible to keep the postal services going. From what I understand they've privatized the postal services in the UK.   I won’t lead you down a rabbit hole… but did want to state that the USA conveniently uses “forever” stamps, the UK still does not.  I am transported back in time living with the frustration of finding a post office to appease my epistolary habit.  An average letter costs $2.00+ to mail to the USA.  I suggest, you keep reading my blog for free until they figure out a way to collect!
 

ME:  I am not expecting anyone, so I slowly take my time and get my bathrobe on.  By the time I get to the door the UPS man is driving away and one of those annoying papers are stuck to the door blowing in the wind reminding me that I really screwed up! WE NEED THOSE PASSPORTS/VISAS and they must be signed for!  Grrrrr.  I am left with no choice. I must make a clean break and actually START today. 

I make a pot of coffee, and regardless how unresponsive my brain seems today, I must work on checking off some of the endless chores this move has me doing. Did I mention, I’m pretty good at the filling up boxes aspect of moving.  It’s the sorting through paperwork I don’t really want to deal with or it’s a two body problem which means I handle it, move it to a new pile so David does what he has to do, then if and when he gets the information about it, he then hands it back to me, and I’m in the same position I was in weeks ago with trying to “handle” it /make it go away.  It’s the bane of my existence and it clutters my counters and my brain. Sometimes I wonder if we had a house fire and POOF it was gone…How much of it would really be critical?  THOSE are the rose colored glasses I am using at this last stage of decluttering towards the truly empty house and ultimately our move to London…. ​