Groundhog’s Day - Pt 1

​When, or better WHY, did we take off our capes that made us invincible?
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I ask myself, am I reliving this day over and over and over again because I am not getting it “right”?  Daily facing the paradox of having so much free time and lacking the discipline or direction to do anything from which I would benefit.  I’m reminded of an all-time favorite movie, Groundhog’s day.  If you haven’t seen it, take this gift of time, and do so.  

Like you, I am my own judge, jury and executioner.  Nobody is a worse critic than you.  Everyone has the list of things we tell ourselves we’d do if only we had more time, but we’re either not honest with ourselves or we’ve beaten ourselves down so much we don’t know how or believe we can begin.
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What motivates us?  “They” say a self-desire to look out for new things, face challenges and analyze one’s own capability and desire to gain knowledge.  

Then today I walked by Queen Victoria’s statue in front of Kensington Palace being reminded that she resented her youth because she was never able to run free, or merely walk down a staircase without being coddled.  Her position prohibited her from so many simple joys in her life.  I am no queen and, yet, I mine as well be.  I recognize I'm not living my privileged life. There are so many things I want to do, places I want to go, people I want to share it with and what is stopping me?  As we are all learning, there are many things out of our control, but some things are in our control.  For me, to do and go, I need to be active and healthy enough.  So today, I’m going to start my groundhog’s day tutorial until I have it right.

​On my walk this morning, I loved seeing people alone, in pairs and in forbidden multiples enjoying the park. (Our relocation has come with many challenges, but fortunately, the beauty of where we live is a huge boon!) Activity means something different for everyone.  Some run, stroll, jump rope, bike, hike, lift weights, climb, swim, even dance.  The goal of walking to the mailbox or running an ultra-marathon is equally lofty depending on the situation. We need to stop comparing ourselves and start bolstering one another to live the life we have. The ability involved, the length, and its intensity is different for each of us. 

I am not going to tell you what “my goal or my plan” is, because it’s not about the THING as much as it is about the discipline and permission you give yourself to do “IT”. Do it slowly, do it without judgement,  just do it.  Maybe, just maybe, that is when our quarantine will be lifted and we will be a population who is a bit more self-reflective and kinder to one another? Stay tuned for Part 2 – It won’t be until after quarantine and we all have a new normal.

Maybe it was coincidence but as I was processing these thoughts my Spotify played False Confidence.  Check out the song and the amazing choreography in the video....
False Confidence by Noah Kahan 

And I wonder why I tear myself down
To be built back up again
Oh I hope somehow, I'll wake up young again
All that's left of myself
Holes in my false confidence
And now I lay myself down
And hope I wake up young again
Hope I wake up young again
Don't let those demons in again (mhm hmm)
I fill the void up with polished doubt, fake sentiment
Surrender yourself